Descention.

I can't help but feel like my world is falling apart. I feel as if I did something wrong. I'm craving drink. And smoke.

The CD was good.

Dear Starbucks kid with the cute smile, that makes me blush a little. You look so sincere and sweet. I wish I knew your name.

Uh, Oh. Statticus got smart.

My bar has been raised 10 feet higher. Jump high boys. And don't trip. Because there are no second chances with me.

Broke my positive vibe rule.

There are many fish in the sea. And I am a shark.

The end? For now?

Happy vibes are levelling at about zero today. For the first time in almost 2 months, life doesn't feel so cheerful. No matter how hard I try.

Zoned out.

I sit here solitary. Inner silence impounding my head. The mess on my bed crinkles as I shuffle slowly. The slightest sounds seem so sharp. A fence has been erected today and it surrounds my inner core. It is strong and sturdy, rough and full of splinters, ready to leave slivers on hands that try to reach and understand the edifice of my mind. It cannot be altered. It has found comfort in where it lays, protecting me from the malice of humanity. A current bubble of peace and happiness, of which its soft bouncy exterior is inevitably bound to pop, but the timing of this is uncertain. So I watch the colors swirl in this happy bubble of mine, until the darkness of night robs me of its vibrance. But the sun arises and I can begin another day, another life.

Back on that loner anxiety tip.

Days are amazing. Nights alone are not. But I will make it, because all I need is a pen, paint, or a camera, and I will get through any night. Bring it on A.M.

I despise demineralized water.

Orange mint. Makes good cigarettes. Not so much water.

Whos turn?

"Find the biggest boulder and kick it, preferably in bare feet. Who's going to win? You or the boulder?"

If you don't let the boulder get to you, ignore the pain, stop kicking it, and walk away. You win.

Human after all.

I take back what I said about my heart feeling unbreakable. It's aching in the worst possible way.

"Listen Baby, your wish is my command."

"I thought I had it all together. But I was lead astray, the day you walked away. You were the clock, that was tickin in my heart. Changed my state of mind, that love's so hard to find."


And it plays over and over and over like a vinyl.

I can only become stronger.

Alas, another stepping stone has been overcome in my life. And I am completely grateful for every minute. Life is beautiful, and you just got to keep smiling. I love you, dearly, always.

Although when your heart feels unbreakable after so much repetitive aching, that may not be a good thing.

EcoSneaks.

Can I pass my environmental studies class now? Ahem.
I am definately laying cash down for these babies tomorrow.



Retail therapy, what an amazing vice.

Don't step out of the way.

I can run through you!

Make the best of it.

Boredom is a personal decision that we make. We choose to be bored. We do not become bored.

Another day steppin on rocks.

Today was the first day I woke up feeling sad. And for once I knew why.

Who's that creepin in my window?

Life cannot be perfect 24-7. But you can make it as close to perfect as you want.

There are a few things I've learned in life.

Be positive. Then you learn faster and become wiser.

Once you learn to love life, good things start to happen.

So I was strolling out of American Apparel today during my lunch break, and there was this old lady asking for spare change. I see her all the time, and I usually tend to ignore her because I never carry much change on me, and I feel bad every time I fumble for an excuse as to why I have no change for her. But today I thought I'd shell out some change, because I'd just happened to have some on me, and I couldn't recall if i'd ever given her change before. After I placed the 35 cents in her hand, I asked her if she had a lighter that I could borrow. I talked to her for a few minutes, asked her if she found it cold out, and if she'd been there for awhile. After our brief conversation, I told her "Thank you so much for letting me use your lighter. Have a good day!" and walked off. As I was walking she said "You too! Thank you for the change!" And honestly, she sounded so happy. And the fact that I was able to make somebody that happy was an amazing feeling. It's awesome how people brighten up when you take the time to talk to them. Even the most miserable looking of folks are amazing people if you open up to them and give them a chance. So I think I will carry a little spare change every day for her, because my heart has developed a soft spot for her and she's a nice lady. Anyways moral of my story? You're smart people. Figure one out. Because there is no moral to my story. Just common sense. Love everybody.

Take what you love and give it 100%.

Go out and be whoever you want to be.

Stay in and create whoever you want to create.