Keeping.

So I am making my premiere attempt at reviewing an album. I am in my bedroom, strobe light raging, 6 hoots deep, and it is 2:42 AM. Pits in the Sanblaster is playing its first song and it's delivering a proper vibe of which I was looking for tonight. Late night, chill, hiphop rhythm with soothing mysterious vocal. It's different, but I'm loving every second that passes. This is the CD that you want to sit and zone out to, or do some serious thinking to. It is the perfect background music to staring at a wall, and being completely intrigued by it. By this I mean, it makes simple seem magnificent. It's very hypnotic.

The second song finishes with the perfect amount of guitar that makes the nerves unravel.

The third, is eery and makes me want to sleep, and have weird dreams. The kind that leave you restless the next day.

The fourth, starts with guitar and sounds interesting until they start singing, and then the combination sounds generic. At first it's minimally if not very intriguing or interesting to me, but it picks up slightly enough to spark interest - but then quickly gets boring again.

The fifth song makes me wants to sleep even though at this point I am completely wired awake. So boring that I am going to skip to the next song. Although I like the random strange sounds that spurt in irregular places.

The sixth starts off sounding like I am listening to myself walk, or maybe even stand in the snow. And then listen to myself pick at bagged chips, or unwrap a granola bar, while they maintain the eery singing. The combination of eery singing and crinkling bags creeps me out a little.

The seventh is a sudden pick up. It starts off sounding like 80's meets indie. And then the weird singing starts again. At first I enjoyed their voices but the more I listen to them the more I get creeped out. But I enjoy the subtle disco beat that kicks in later on in the background. It's unnaturally catchy. Right when you are about to click onto the next song it grabs you by a string and keeps you wanting to hear the rest. Oh I know why I enjoy this so much more, they guys aren't singing at the moment. Just straight catchy beat. Whenever they stop singing it magnetizes me.

The eighth song proves their voices not to be 100% irritating and slightly more enjoyable. But still, I am not fully satisfied. I'm mainly enjoying the instrumental aspect of the song. The guitar catches you off guard and comes at amazing moments. It's near magical even, when it does.

The ninth song is slow but something about it catches my attention. I am enjoying the lyrics. This would be a song I'd go back to if the right emotion overcame me. Definately. I can't tell if my facebook is "POPPING" from a message or if it is part of the song...

The tenth song started off good. I love it. This is the song of this album and they saved best for last. It has a Canadian roadtrip in the summer vibe. In fact, I think this song is amazing.

Overall Review: After listening to the album a few times I concluded that it is mediocre. BUT, the last song is an absolute gem, and I cannot stop listening to it.

Most recommended song: Chamomile

Smack.

I spend my time and energy on nice and positive people who deserve it.

If I'm nice to you and you act like you think I'm bowing down, then return the favour by acting like you have a stick up your ass. Think twice. I don't waste time on useless people.

Erased.

Some memories are better off erased, and left to wander through time.

Farewell, home.

Bye Saskatoon, I love you.

Things I need in no particular order.

Just making a list of stuff so I won't forget and so I can get started on crossing them off.

Studio lights.
Wacom pen and tablet.
7D...obviously.
Fisheye.
Flashes.
Photo Enlarger.
A GOOD tripod.


Uh. Good enough list for now.

I played.

This wasn't supposed to make any sense. I was bored.

In hiding.

Open minds.

Time moves forward. It doesn't go backwards, nor does it stand still.
Accept change.

Poetry free my soul.

This weekend I learned that time is for sharing. When you live life in the fast lane, you eventually run out of gas. You have to stop, gas up, and while you're at it, take the scenic route now and then. Don't go down the same freeway every day. Life is lived once. Take every route.

Sunshine fo ya mind.

It feels good to live in good ol WPG. It's an adjustment and change shakes me up a little, but gradually I'm starting to see the bright side of life again. A few days of some mental pessimismaholics anonymous sessions, some skateboarding, and reorganizing of life, and I think I'll be strutting down the right path again. It's time for me to spread my arms again and fly. Life knocked me down, I got back up, and got tied back down for a minute. But now the only thing holding me back is my racing mind. The solution? Throw my mind on a race track with other minds. Joke. I just need to stop thinking so much. Life is good, life is chill. It's time to stop looking, stop thinking, and start feeling.

Resolved.

I love my family.

Who?!

Gettin it all back one day at a time.
Lookout life.
Ima get you.

Homie words it better than I can.

Minus the hollering at chicks and exes part ha.

Commandments of Happy.

Somewhere along the road I forgot how to be happy. I'm not sure where. At one point life was grande and I don't know where I let it gain 20 lbs and hide in a corner with a bucket of double chocolate chunk ice cream. But it's time for change and I have to bring myself back to the morals I lived by. So I'm trying to remember them one by one.

1. NEVER talk shit about anyone. Ever.
2. Surround yourself with positive people.
3. If you don't like something, change it.
4. Try new things.
5. talk to strangers. Talk to everybody.
6. Smile, smile, smile.
7. Don't worry about what other people think. Do you.

It's all about positive energy.
Positive actions have positive reactions.

I wish I wasn't so sensitive to negative energy because it brings me down so much. The smallest thing makes me crash lately and I need to find a way to get past that. I feel like the energy at my home has eaten away at me and I have no resistance to it. Sometimes I wish my parents understood the effect it's had on me. I need to be around positivity to be productive and comprehend how to react to the world. That's it, that's all. When I'm at my best, I know how to deal with bad things, no problem. But when I'm constantly surrounded by negativity it's so draining. I hope moving out is the first step to regaining my life, and hopefully it's an upward travel from here.

Love.

I realized tonight how important it is to always be happy and positive.
Because that's what makes us special.

I love you XoXo.

Circles.

I'm rushing round in a black whirlpool of thoughts that I can't get out of. My arm's sticking out and I just want to be pulled out. I know I can pull myself out but I don't have the energy. I don't have the drive. I'm the only one in my whirlpool and no-one can hear me cry. I only hear distant voices. I don't know if I'm shouting or just imagining that I am, or maybe my voice is lost. I hate these periods in my life. I get into a hole and my emotions just drag me deeper. I'm so happy to the world that I don't want to break down in front of anyone, because I don't even know what I'm crying about. It all feels so stupid. I just want to be out of this cage, where no-one knows how to help lift me out of this mess. I feel like I'm in a house of vines. Black, green. I can see blue skies and white clouds but they seem so far away. I want to stay awake and get things done, but lack of sleep makes me worse, but getting sleep wastes the time I have to get things done. I'm torn apart between a life of work, a life of school, a life of chasing dreams, and a life of getting by. If my emotional state wasn't so fragile this would all be easy. If motivation were a pill, I need it now, in higher doses. Along with a fix my life for a day pill so I can feel caught up. I'm not sure what I need to get my life together but I need it now.

Fame like hollywood.
Gossip like Cornwall.
Egos like butterfly wings.

Jig saws.

The first passion I ever took upon was writing so why can't I write. Why can't I imagine up these little vivid worlds and color a paper with words anymore? I couldn't draw with crayons so I began to draw with words. Now I can't do either. Why do I crumble so easy under pressure. Why can't I spit out a poem or two in a day like I used to. Why can't I spend a day drawing like I used to. I used to be able to do everything with ease when I was young. Now everything is a struggle. Why do I always whine so much. I can't wait for the days when this is all done, and I am happy with life again. I'm sick of redundancy. I'm sick of feeling so isolated amongst a pool of personalities that constantly come and go. I just want stability again. I want real people. This city is too big to be too small. It's too busy because it's too small. A big city is so busy that I can just relax. Relax with the handful I know. The handful that I will see everyday and trust like fam. You just can't do that in a place where you know everybody, not in one that's too big, yet too small. Maybe you can, but I just don't know how, and I just don't fit any of these puzzle peices.

Shut doors.

Part of me is scared to research and write an essay on Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton. It'll make me explore a part of my mind that I'd rather not go spelunking into.

Exhausted.

I am so tired. Of so much. I just want to relax. I wish I didn't think so much all the time. I just want to absorb and enjoy life.

I need to get out of this city before I go literally insane. I'm made for big cities. Not this. I can't handle it anymore.