Monday, June 14, 2010

Stagnant.

My mind has been a transparent slate lately. It does not think up, nor down, nor happy, nor sad. It just stares blankly upon the scenery ahead, noticing the clouds, and the setting sun, but looking beyond them, as if they were dim see-through shapes lying across a deep black backdrop. My emotions exist, but they do not move me. As if a hidden force raises my hands for me, does my work for me, pushes my legs forward as they glide across the ground on what at some point in time was a tree stump that supported life, and turned the wastes from our nostrils into air that we can breath again. Where did the seconds go? Five minutes ago it was an hour ago. An hour ago it was a week ago. And a week ago it was 5 months ago. Now I stand here, like a minute hand, going around in circles in the same spot, but time is somehow passing me by. Somehow nothing has changed. Some how I am a lonely minute hand trying to keep up with the second hand. I catch up with it for a second, and then it's gone. By the time I move forward a step, it has already been around the world and has returned to touch my hand, and before I can say hello, it leaves for another trip around the moon. Hello second hand, goodbye second hand. See you in a minute. I'll still be here, waiting.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Dear Mister Suave, Mr. Pennybags, and Mr. Famous.

Just wanted to point out that I don't care how good looking you are, rich you are, or who you are: You cannot waltz up to me and think that I will fall in love with you, just because you can pull that off with everyone else. I know what I want. And if you're not that well too bad. Bravado will not win my heart, or my body.

Life tastes sweet.


Sometimes I just can't breathe.

Monday, May 31, 2010

State of mind and train of thought.

is under construction.

Long livin.

Approach and treat each day as if it were the best day of your life.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Drawing out the lines.

After much pondering and indecision on a carreer choice, it's been pretty evident lately that I had come to terms with pursuing photography. After shooting lots of photos, setting up blogs, hearing responses on which of my photos people appreciate and enjoy the most, and hitting up a few books here and there, I have finally decided on commercial photography as my ultimate goal, with my main focus being mainly and hopefully on the skateboarding, fashion, and similar lifestyle industry. My plan is to be freelance. I will continue to do events on the side and hopefully set up a rad site or blog to work on as a supplementary hobby. School starts at the end of June and hopefully my path begins to unfold from there.



Yet another beginning in my rapidly evolving life.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Carving my heart one chip at a time.

I like to visualize that my heart is like one of those strawberry foiled candies. A reflective layer on the outside in which you must twist and fumble with in several directions to unwrap and understand. After which you encounter a sweet, but thick solid layer that you must either chip away at, or patiently wear down. And then once you've worked your way through all the layers, it's ultimately mushy and soft. Unlike the strawberry center though, this center lasts forever. (Given that you don't spit it out.)

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Tick Tock.

I've had a mouth full of words lately and I never put them to use. But now I'm nodding off, and my eyelids are being pulled by gravity. So my thoughts will have to continue another day, when they will no longer be the same, and I will have lost grasp of them. These thoughts will only be a remnant lost in time.

Love what you have.

The grass is greener on the other side, but it always tastes the same as the grass you're standing on. So enjoy the grass you're on and savour the taste.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Not even crickets could be heard.

Tonight I held my pillow tightly and closed my eyes. "Good night pillow." If only you could talk.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Don't make history. Be a mystery.

I want to feel someone's heart beat when I give them a hug. I don't want to feel this clock between us, or, I don't want time to stand between us. Stay beautiful.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Painting my goal.

My life is like a canvas that I have been sketching out separate sections and pieces of for years, and I need to begin focusing on a whole image. I keep erasing and re-sketching the lines, and changing the portrait altogether, leaving me a jumbled mess of line traces and no final product. I am developing a new resolution for myself. Every minute I spend here must be productive.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Unravelling my brain.

Beauty weakens my common sense.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Stronger on the solo.



I've become accustomed to my solo adventures and the thought of being restrained makes my chest clench and my breath accelerate. My phobia of being alone has officially reversed and I appreciate my independence.

I realized that for a relationship to work out for me, I need someone who can comprehend and share my lifestyle. Work hard, play hard.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Travelling opens your eyes to your world.



I am back with a new perspective on life and I'm ready to open up a fresh bag of accomplishments and experiences.

Monday, May 10, 2010

VanSask.

Here I am again. Back in Saskatoon and floating upon my imagination. In from one world, returning to the next. Two different worlds delivering two different lifestyles handing me two different lives melded together in one week. It feels as if I have two different personas and I feel like two separate people living within two different worlds, but I can't differentiate the two of them. I feel like I'm living in two different dimensions at the same time, and my consciousness is shifting back and forth between them, melding them together. Vancouver delivers me the lifestyle I've always dreamed of. I take it as it comes, and wander with the flow. I wake up in the heart of everything I enjoy and am highly passionate about. I have a close knit group of friends yet am meeting a vibrant variety of inspirational people. I can wander the streets and there is always something new to explore, I don't run on a set schedule, and I spend most of my day skating and indulge in a relaxed lifestyle. I can't spend as much money on material things but I make up for it with a solid group of friends and rad experiences. It triggers all my senses at all hours of the day, from sights, smells, tastes (there's a million places to eat), and sounds. I party now and then but spending an evening wandering down the streets and spending time with an awesome crew, one close friend, or even by myself, is just as satisfying.



In Saskatoon I indulge in my artistic side and am more business minded. I shoot photos, and I dress more well put together than usual. I am hyper and power through parties. I work retail and earn money selling shoes or phones. I buy nice things when I can, and eat at new and different places that I've never tried. I write articles and blogs, and my day is a continuous calendar from one minute to the next. My life is consumed by books, paintings, laptops, and socializing. I immerse myself in all things that catch my interest, such as festivals, galleries, and music. Because I want to take up every opportunity to try something new.

In Vancouver, I live one life that is relaxed and well put together. I am not rich, but I am happy with my surroundings. I am free.

In Saskatoon I live many lives, exciting, spontaneous, exhausting, and random. I have more money but less spare time.

Two both very addicting and nice ways to live, and I just can't decide which one I want. I need to meld the two: Carefree, but organized, living the dream, but working.

Either way I have two different homes, with two different families which both consume my heart. I experience two different lifestyles, and I can sense the best of both worlds. And one day hopefully I can have them both at the same time.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

dreams are always attainable. Just reach higher.

Always maintain positive vibes and before you know it you'll be flying through life experiences that will continuously blow your mind and make you happy.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

I don't want to leave.

Today my heart got butterflies. And there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. This trip has been too fun. I don't want it to end.