Wednesday, December 28, 2011

I never know what to title these sometimes.

So I looked at it, twisted, not knowing what to expect. Taste it. Tasted good. Like shitake. I sunk back, anxiety tried to work her way in, and I said "NO." Turned on the beatles. The beatles sounded like a good idea.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011


Leah and I walked down Robson on a grey rainy day. I glanced around with an ornery look on my face, hundred dollars worth of junk in a bag hanging off one hand. I turned to Leah and snarled "This street is nothing but a consumerist friggin jungle." Suddenly I looked up and an excited smile spread across my face "A Japanese candy store! Eeeee!"

Saturday, December 17, 2011

True love:

The hardest thing to find, the easiest to neglect.

Thursday, December 15, 2011


I keep my mind busy so that I don't give it time to ponder insignificance. Because once I do that, the monster in my mind escapes, trying to pull me back into its dark depths. No mind, you can't have me. I have a life to live.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Hearts and smiles

You get out of the universe what you put into it. Be good to everyone, and everyone will be good in return. Those who aren't good to you in return will get what they put into the universe, so pay them no mind, and wish them well.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011


Sometimes the greatest act of love is letting something go, when you know you're stopping each other from achieving their greatest potential. I let my dove go, out of love. Fly dove, and go chase your dreams.

First chapter.

I could write a whole book of the sweet, inspirational things you whisper in my ear.

Saturday, December 3, 2011


Every morning I am told "have a great day, I love you, now go conquer the world."

This is the best thing anyone can hear at the alpha of their day. Everybody should say this to someone they love, or maybe even a stranger. It's uplifting and powerful.

Friday, December 2, 2011


Tonight I am alone, sober, and smokeless. I'm facing my biggest fears.

All I have is music to keep me company.

Thursday, November 24, 2011


I'm so mangled nobody can understand me. Not even myself. It's my greatest curse.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Blue and green.

A soul was dropped on my path today, on the corner of Davie and Granville. He told me that my auras are blue and green. Blue means calm, and it was fighting, trying to overcome the green aura. Green means emotions. My life is like an hourglass that has been suddenly flipped over. The green sand, my emotions that I am fighting, are being covered in calm blue sand. I don't want the sand on this half of the timer to run out. So I shall make my egg timer bigger, and add more sand.

Once upon a time.

I met someone. He writes and stuff. Scripts. Lots of things. And he took my very real, very blunt life, and spun it into a story. My life became a dream again, the way it used to be. I don't think I mind, I've always been kind of a dreamer anyways.

Every end is a beginning.

Monday, November 14, 2011


I'm going to embrace this darkness within me. I'm going to float upon it, paint with it, make creations with it, I'm going to ball it up and throw it everywhere. I'm going to eat it. Play with it. Who am I to deny what I am?

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Red, Read, Red.

Am I heartless or is my heart too big? Is there a soul behind these eyes, and will I ever know the answer? Lost I am, and lost I'll be. Better lost than found, what's life if there is nothing left to search. My mind and my heart are two million miles apart.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011


Sometimes my best hope of finding true happiness is to keep pretending that I'm happy.

This way I can keep happy people in my life, and keep smiling.

There's no point in letting the seams of the quilt I've worked so hard to make, tear apart.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Confessions of a blank mind.

I was graced with the luck of having so many amazing experiences in my life, that I am now left with only high expectations of every waking moment, and I no longer see the beauty of everything around me. Simple things used to spark my mind. A blue sky, the clouds, a leaf, a bug against the bark of a tree. Now I walk under the sky as if it is a blank canvas, and I don't know what to do with it, nor do I notice it. I don't know what to write anymore. I don't know how I feel anymore. I feel like a walking, expressionless blank sheet, bleached, conforming to the shape of everything I land on.

I don't know where and when I lost touch with myself. But now I'm flailing my arms blindly, deafly, trying to find my own self again.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011


I wrote a blog entry. It was genius. And then I closed the box. And just like that, all my thoughts were gone. Those thoughts were not to share I guess.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011


Sometimes there's nobody to grab your hand when you trip. That's when you gotta learn to get up by yourself, brush yourself off, and keep walking. Someone down the road will help you bandage the cuts later.

Monday, October 3, 2011


I embrace all 58 sides of me. Inside and out.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011


I am in my new home. I feel like I lost myself in a puzzle and I have to piece everything together again, one piece at a time.

Thursday, September 22, 2011


You're the only one who can fix them.

There's only so much the universe can do to help.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011


One hill amongst many is just another hill. I'm going to climb the next one like I did the last one.

Friday, September 9, 2011


We may be, but a speck of dust in the universe. Maybe even less than that. But our souls have no limit.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011


So I am making my premiere attempt at reviewing an album. I am in my bedroom, strobe light raging, 6 hoots deep, and it is 2:42 AM. Pits in the Sanblaster is playing its first song and it's delivering a proper vibe of which I was looking for tonight. Late night, chill, hiphop rhythm with soothing mysterious vocal. It's different, but I'm loving every second that passes. This is the CD that you want to sit and zone out to, or do some serious thinking to. It is the perfect background music to staring at a wall, and being completely intrigued by it. By this I mean, it makes simple seem magnificent. It's very hypnotic.

The second song finishes with the perfect amount of guitar that makes the nerves unravel.

The third, is eery and makes me want to sleep, and have weird dreams. The kind that leave you restless the next day.

The fourth, starts with guitar and sounds interesting until they start singing, and then the combination sounds generic. At first it's minimally if not very intriguing or interesting to me, but it picks up slightly enough to spark interest - but then quickly gets boring again.

The fifth song makes me wants to sleep even though at this point I am completely wired awake. So boring that I am going to skip to the next song. Although I like the random strange sounds that spurt in irregular places.

The sixth starts off sounding like I am listening to myself walk, or maybe even stand in the snow. And then listen to myself pick at bagged chips, or unwrap a granola bar, while they maintain the eery singing. The combination of eery singing and crinkling bags creeps me out a little.

The seventh is a sudden pick up. It starts off sounding like 80's meets indie. And then the weird singing starts again. At first I enjoyed their voices but the more I listen to them the more I get creeped out. But I enjoy the subtle disco beat that kicks in later on in the background. It's unnaturally catchy. Right when you are about to click onto the next song it grabs you by a string and keeps you wanting to hear the rest. Oh I know why I enjoy this so much more, they guys aren't singing at the moment. Just straight catchy beat. Whenever they stop singing it magnetizes me.

The eighth song proves their voices not to be 100% irritating and slightly more enjoyable. But still, I am not fully satisfied. I'm mainly enjoying the instrumental aspect of the song. The guitar catches you off guard and comes at amazing moments. It's near magical even, when it does.

The ninth song is slow but something about it catches my attention. I am enjoying the lyrics. This would be a song I'd go back to if the right emotion overcame me. Definately. I can't tell if my facebook is "POPPING" from a message or if it is part of the song...

The tenth song started off good. I love it. This is the song of this album and they saved best for last. It has a Canadian roadtrip in the summer vibe. In fact, I think this song is amazing.

Overall Review: After listening to the album a few times I concluded that it is mediocre. BUT, the last song is an absolute gem, and I cannot stop listening to it.

Most recommended song: Chamomile

Tuesday, June 28, 2011


I spend my time and energy on nice and positive people who deserve it.

If I'm nice to you and you act like you think I'm bowing down, then return the favour by acting like you have a stick up your ass. Think twice. I don't waste time on useless people.

Monday, June 20, 2011


Some memories are better off erased, and left to wander through time.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Farewell, home.

Bye Saskatoon, I love you.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Things I need in no particular order.

Just making a list of stuff so I won't forget and so I can get started on crossing them off.

Studio lights.
Wacom pen and tablet.
Photo Enlarger.
A GOOD tripod.

Uh. Good enough list for now.

Friday, May 13, 2011

I played.

This wasn't supposed to make any sense. I was bored.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Open minds.

Time moves forward. It doesn't go backwards, nor does it stand still.
Accept change.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Poetry free my soul.

This weekend I learned that time is for sharing. When you live life in the fast lane, you eventually run out of gas. You have to stop, gas up, and while you're at it, take the scenic route now and then. Don't go down the same freeway every day. Life is lived once. Take every route.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Sunshine fo ya mind.

It feels good to live in good ol WPG. It's an adjustment and change shakes me up a little, but gradually I'm starting to see the bright side of life again. A few days of some mental pessimismaholics anonymous sessions, some skateboarding, and reorganizing of life, and I think I'll be strutting down the right path again. It's time for me to spread my arms again and fly. Life knocked me down, I got back up, and got tied back down for a minute. But now the only thing holding me back is my racing mind. The solution? Throw my mind on a race track with other minds. Joke. I just need to stop thinking so much. Life is good, life is chill. It's time to stop looking, stop thinking, and start feeling.

Friday, April 29, 2011


I love my family.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011


Gettin it all back one day at a time.
Lookout life.
Ima get you.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Homie words it better than I can.

Minus the hollering at chicks and exes part ha.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Commandments of Happy.

Somewhere along the road I forgot how to be happy. I'm not sure where. At one point life was grande and I don't know where I let it gain 20 lbs and hide in a corner with a bucket of double chocolate chunk ice cream. But it's time for change and I have to bring myself back to the morals I lived by. So I'm trying to remember them one by one.

1. NEVER talk shit about anyone. Ever.
2. Surround yourself with positive people.
3. If you don't like something, change it.
4. Try new things.
5. talk to strangers. Talk to everybody.
6. Smile, smile, smile.
7. Don't worry about what other people think. Do you.

It's all about positive energy.
Positive actions have positive reactions.

I wish I wasn't so sensitive to negative energy because it brings me down so much. The smallest thing makes me crash lately and I need to find a way to get past that. I feel like the energy at my home has eaten away at me and I have no resistance to it. Sometimes I wish my parents understood the effect it's had on me. I need to be around positivity to be productive and comprehend how to react to the world. That's it, that's all. When I'm at my best, I know how to deal with bad things, no problem. But when I'm constantly surrounded by negativity it's so draining. I hope moving out is the first step to regaining my life, and hopefully it's an upward travel from here.

Sunday, April 17, 2011


I realized tonight how important it is to always be happy and positive.
Because that's what makes us special.

I love you XoXo.


I'm rushing round in a black whirlpool of thoughts that I can't get out of. My arm's sticking out and I just want to be pulled out. I know I can pull myself out but I don't have the energy. I don't have the drive. I'm the only one in my whirlpool and no-one can hear me cry. I only hear distant voices. I don't know if I'm shouting or just imagining that I am, or maybe my voice is lost. I hate these periods in my life. I get into a hole and my emotions just drag me deeper. I'm so happy to the world that I don't want to break down in front of anyone, because I don't even know what I'm crying about. It all feels so stupid. I just want to be out of this cage, where no-one knows how to help lift me out of this mess. I feel like I'm in a house of vines. Black, green. I can see blue skies and white clouds but they seem so far away. I want to stay awake and get things done, but lack of sleep makes me worse, but getting sleep wastes the time I have to get things done. I'm torn apart between a life of work, a life of school, a life of chasing dreams, and a life of getting by. If my emotional state wasn't so fragile this would all be easy. If motivation were a pill, I need it now, in higher doses. Along with a fix my life for a day pill so I can feel caught up. I'm not sure what I need to get my life together but I need it now.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Fame like hollywood.
Gossip like Cornwall.
Egos like butterfly wings.

Jig saws.

The first passion I ever took upon was writing so why can't I write. Why can't I imagine up these little vivid worlds and color a paper with words anymore? I couldn't draw with crayons so I began to draw with words. Now I can't do either. Why do I crumble so easy under pressure. Why can't I spit out a poem or two in a day like I used to. Why can't I spend a day drawing like I used to. I used to be able to do everything with ease when I was young. Now everything is a struggle. Why do I always whine so much. I can't wait for the days when this is all done, and I am happy with life again. I'm sick of redundancy. I'm sick of feeling so isolated amongst a pool of personalities that constantly come and go. I just want stability again. I want real people. This city is too big to be too small. It's too busy because it's too small. A big city is so busy that I can just relax. Relax with the handful I know. The handful that I will see everyday and trust like fam. You just can't do that in a place where you know everybody, not in one that's too big, yet too small. Maybe you can, but I just don't know how, and I just don't fit any of these puzzle peices.

Shut doors.

Part of me is scared to research and write an essay on Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton. It'll make me explore a part of my mind that I'd rather not go spelunking into.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011


I am so tired. Of so much. I just want to relax. I wish I didn't think so much all the time. I just want to absorb and enjoy life.

I need to get out of this city before I go literally insane. I'm made for big cities. Not this. I can't handle it anymore.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

One thing.

I just want you you and you. And only you. You make every moment perfect.

Saturday, April 9, 2011


My ideas have been evolving into bigger better plans. I'm so excited that I don't even want to say what they are, 1. So that I will be twice as excited when it all begins and 2. so that I will be only half as disappointed if it doesn't work out. But the more I think about it the more I get excited and I think that life has bigger and better plans than what I originally laid out for myself. All I know is I feel much, much better lately. One plan I will be open about is that I have decided that I will ultimately want to pursue a master in arts. I want to take a year break from University right now, and enter a program that I believe is going to supplement my photography in ways that are very invaluable. After that when I have a diploma, I will have work that can support my further schooling. The two are going to constantly build upon each other. This diploma will help my school work, and my school work will help my field of work from this diploma. Every professor I have suggested it to has been highly supportive and believes it's a really good idea. And I decided I just never want to finish school. I want to keep learning until I have reached the top. The other plan is a simple day dream but it has sparked my views on a topic I once thought as bland, redundant and boring, and now I look forward to the days I might consider it. Anyways this is my long ass ramble.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Drink the pain away.

Drinking an abundance of tea has calmed me down.
Plus lighting incense before bed.
And skateboarding in the sun.
And being around lots of people.

Life plan ideas are starting to take a new shape.
Today, life was looking brighter.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Rest in Peace Baby Gibbs.

I am losing my mind.

I am not happy.
Everything bores me.
I hate being broke.
My life at home breaks me.
I am losing the things that are closest to me.
I am getting shut down from things I work hard for.

I don't know what to do with myself.
I don't know how to be happy anymore.

I miss my baby already. He gave me kisses every morning I went downstairs and visited him at the cage. He would run towards my finger as soon as I called him and give my finger kisses. He would kiss my lips if I let him, and let me feed him all sorts of stuff. I miss him so much. He passed a less than an hour ago but the emptiness is already there.

I just wish I could figure out how to be happy again. Without having to force myself to feel happy.
Some day.

Hopefully soon.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011


You are my right dose of medicine for this bad case of bummed that I have right now. Somehow life aligned the timing just right. I just want to hold you for millions of straight hours right now.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Why does my job rock socks?

I get paid 100$ to shoot photos of the people I love, and get drunk for free. I get paid to party baby.

People used to ream me out for not charging enough for shooting photography.
Work with passion, and it will pay off in the long run.
The more I shoot, the better I get, and one day I'll get paid what I deserve.

This is why I would never settle for an office job.
Life's too short to sit on your ass, slave for the man, or do something you hate.
Why make rich people richer?

It's inevitable that some of my money will go somewhere I don't want it.
But it's a small price to pay to spread a message.

I want to change the world.

Happiness makes you healthy.

My bird Hercs, is not only the happiest bird I know, but he's the happiest being I know. He recently turned 11 years old, and he is the healthiest of all 12 birds I have owned. A budgie's average life span is 8-10 years. There are 6 left now, and he's still the strongest, most energetic of all those little buggers. Why? Because he doesn't give a fuck. He chirps his heart out all day and plays with the other birds. So if you want to be a happy, healthy, still gettin laid grandma/grampa, get your chirp on. Be happy.

Be different. Everybody's doin it.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

If ignorance is bliss, give me some, I want to get high.

Stirrups. That don't stretch. Fall down when I bend over. And the crotch is bound to rip soon. David will love them.

A loonie for your thoughts.

I'm a little insane and I don't give a shit.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011


New template fools. Dig a little.

Matching nails? Pah!

Monday, March 21, 2011


I don't make a lot of money, but I love everything I do.
If i'm not doing what I love, I'm spending time with you.
My sapphires are the sky, my rubies are your heart.
The only time that I feel poor, is when we're far apart.
A book is full of words, words are full of thought.
I close my eyes to sleep and I've found everything I've sought.
Your love's more pure, than any given carat.
A kiss is far more greater than the money I'll inherit.

I want no fancy car, I want no fancy house.
I can lose those all as easy, as this dirt stain on my blouse.
Screw Vuitton, screw Chanel and even screw Dior.
Every pretty thing I need to see, is lying out my door.
Gold reflects the wicked, it's as precious as my ass.
My heart is in my soul, yours is in your trash.
Have your money, here, you can even have the world.
It'll only be forgotten once all chaos has unfurled.


Thursday, March 17, 2011

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

As for happy posts.

I'm a month and a half away to freedom. I love you.

You help me remember that there's a silver lining to this cloud, and all of this makes me further realize how lucky I am to have you. You are the most amazing kind-hearted person I know.

I appreciate you so much.

Thank you for being here for me and constantly encouraging me. You mean the world to me David.


Also thank you to the friends who have been here for me. Thank you for hanging out with me even during my down-times.

Mom, I love you. Thank you for helping me through my struggles as a student and helping me get through school. It means so much to me. I promise to be more helpful while I'm here as much as I can.

Monday, March 14, 2011


Life is beginning to feel mundane again and it's time to make a new list of goals. I accomplished most from my last list so I'm assuming it helps.

-Time management
- Less facebook
-More raw veggie diet
-Income tax
-Pack for winnipeg
- Exercise yet more
- Get filming
- Look into photo jobs
- Get better paying job for the summer
- Apply for photog at the Sheaf? backup plan? Although I really want to get out of the city this year
-Pwn school for the next month
- Pwn lots during the week, play on weekends....skate skate skate, shoot shoot shoot, drank drank drank, volunteer?

This is good enough for now. I'll make a new list when I'm in WPG and have a diff viewpoint on things.

Sorry if the blog is boring folks but I'm in not giving a fuck mode. Gotta get my shit together.

I can't wait.

Until you know how it feels to be treated the way you treat me. One day you'll need me and you'll wish you never treated me this way. Because I'll remember your cold stare and voice forever. Your stupid ego will do you in.

Drivin Life.

You would never drive your car to the grocery store looking behind you the whole way. You would most likely crash.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Here comes the sun. It's alright.

My budgies have always been the ones to cheer me up whenever I am down. For some reason I never expected to ever have to sit down and cheer them all up in order to make them sing again.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

You think you know me sir.

You bring out the monster in me. You know who that monster is? It's you. Reincarnated in me.

You know nothing about me. Or my "little world." Nor do you legitimately try to really understand anything about me or my life. You don't even see the tip of the ice berg. All you see is a mirage created by your own eyes. Every glance you take at me, every sound wave of my words that travel to your ears, I can tell is registering through your brain like a computer, analyzing everything. I am not a computer virus. I am not the weather. I am your daughter.

When can you throw me out in the streets you say?
Isn't that what you used to do to old computers, and old weather equipment when you get sick of them, and they don't suite your lifestyle anymore? Right. You throw them out on the streets. I am well more than sure that if mom wasn't around that would be the first thing you would do. Which is why I have such a deep rooted anger towards you. This is why you bring out my inner monster. Because I know the only love you have for me is because my mother loves me, because you are expected by society to love me, because she would hate you if you threw me away. But you, yourself, her aside, could really give two damns about me. Don't worry. I'll be well out of your life soon.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Ok that's it!

When the hell did the frown clown eat my pie and give me candy corn? Time to pump the volume up on the vibe controls.

What is the next step?

I'm so used to my life moving fast paced. School is so slow. What do you do when everything seems boring? School's boring. Partying's boring. Home's boring. When I'm with you everything is so fun. Sleeping is fun. Waking up is fun. Eating is fun. Showering is fun. Fun is fun. I'm so in love with life with you that everything else is now boring haha. Except for maybe snowboarding. One more month and some. Life will be hella rad :)

Friday, March 4, 2011

Thursday, March 3, 2011

All I can think about

is how much I love you.

Materialism is only good for one thing:

Wiping my ass.

People always tell me that my blog is dark.

If I make my background neon pink, will that brighten your day?

Less party. More bullshit.

I'm sick of being just associated with "PARTY" and "PHOTOS" when I'm in Saskatoon. Perhaps I just want to veg out, hang, watch movies, snowboard, skateboard, go to an art gallery, listen to a good hip-hop album, go on a random road trip.........anything bro.

Winnipeg it's been 2 days and I miss you already.
I miss my babe. I miss my crews.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Ticks and tocks.

The past is gone, the future ain't here yet. Live now.

Sunday, February 27, 2011


Never gets tired of cuddling.
Motivates me to push myself harder.
Never gets mad at me.
Is always down to try new things.
Never gets sick of being around me.
Is the most honest person I know.
Always helps me when I need it.
Sold his macbook to come see me haha.
Messages me good morning when we're apart.
Also messages me good night.
Returns back massages, and puts cold patches on my back when I'm gibbled.
Always holds my hand.
Bear hugs me and squeezes me tighter when I say "I love you."
Says "I love you" at the most random unexpected moments.
Grabs my hand and puts it over his heart before we fall asleep.
Can listen to me blahblahblah forever.
He even takes time to read me blahblahblah on here afterwards.

Always makes me feel like I'm the luckiest girl on earth.
Cuz I am.
And I love you so much <3

Thursday, February 17, 2011

I told you so.

When you don't listen to your conscience, you can't complain about the results. Not even to yourself told yourself so!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Fucking Hipsters.

I eat organic and local food, I have rad taste in music and clothes, I know how to save a few pennies on clothes, I care about the environment, I skate, I like reading books, having conversations over coffee, I love everybody around me, I like to party, I like art and making art. I'm a hipster you say? I see nothing wrong with that. Haha sounds like a pretty fun lifestyle to me.

Just you wait till you meet my urban chicken Keenan who's rockin chicken diapers that i've made out of old American Apparel tees while we're cruisin down Granville on my bicycle, and we're both hammered off Pabst Blue Ribbon by noon on the beach ;)

Actually my taste in music and clothing can be pretty questionable.
But who gives a shit!
People who hate hipsters?
Pah! haha! Gosh darn.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Note to self.

Dear Stacey: Stop making life more difficult. You're set. You just need to get your shit together.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Stay young.

We're taught to love everything as kids, and hate everything as adults.
Stay young. Stay loving. Stay passionate. Stay curious.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

One positive step a day, keeps the world's blues at bay.

You can't change the world................ because you aren't trying hard enough.

Sincerely to the world,


Pupil dilation.

Look into a mirror.
Stare into your eyes.
Now, pick a facial expression.
I chose smiling.
Now, without changing your facial expression, change the emotion that you are feeling.

The eyes, truly are, the windows to your soul.

World Peace.

Sometimes I get so angry towards the naivety of society that I want to cry.

This isn't a figure of speech. It's the literal truth.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Wednesday, February 2, 2011


Pursue success. But never let success capture you.

Monday, January 31, 2011

What defines?

-I believe in a creator.
-I believe in gender equality.
-I believe in gay rights.
-I believe in animal rights.
-I believe in respecting the Earth and the life we share it with.
- I believe in sharing and helping fellow human beings.
- I believe in respecting all cultures

I believe in moving forward, learning from and fixing our mistakes.

These will never change.

Sunday, January 30, 2011


It's so hard to decide where to focus your passions, when you're passionate about every aspect of your life.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Spontaneous Sundays.

The best therapy is a day with friends therapy.

Smiley face.

You fill me with bubbles.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Standing at a cognitive cliff.

I am lost in a world of opposing opinions and beliefs. I stand at the middle being crushed at both sides not knowing which way to jump, so I stand still and let the pressure build until it compresses my mind into a black empty space. My self confidence has shriveled into the ground below me, being held up only by petty accomplishments that drip just enough water in the soil below me to survive. My mind feels like simple present matter, no more, no less. I say right, it goes left. What changed? It was so gradual that I didn't feel its soft pounce. Have you ever let a smile fade so slowly that you didn't realize you were exhibiting a frown? Let your run slow down so gradually that you didn't realize you were beginning to crawl? I have never felt so unsure of life and everything in it. At least, I am sure of two important things, two of which make me smile enough to get through the day.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Observe and Feel.

It's time for me to talk less and listen more.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011


Pwn at life. That is all I wanna do.