Friday, January 7, 2011
Standing at a cognitive cliff.
I am lost in a world of opposing opinions and beliefs. I stand at the middle being crushed at both sides not knowing which way to jump, so I stand still and let the pressure build until it compresses my mind into a black empty space. My self confidence has shriveled into the ground below me, being held up only by petty accomplishments that drip just enough water in the soil below me to survive. My mind feels like simple present matter, no more, no less. I say right, it goes left. What changed? It was so gradual that I didn't feel its soft pounce. Have you ever let a smile fade so slowly that you didn't realize you were exhibiting a frown? Let your run slow down so gradually that you didn't realize you were beginning to crawl? I have never felt so unsure of life and everything in it. At least, I am sure of two important things, two of which make me smile enough to get through the day.